Hertford Blog Self-Defeating Behaviour
5th February 2011
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Welcome to the Hertford Blog.

Mr Percy the rational dog is here again to give advice on difficult challenges in life and the best way to deal with situations that would normally lead to stress. 

Here we are talking about self-defeating behaviour, which is a common stress in life.  An example of self-defeating behaviour is the experience of emotional turmoil, anxiety and anger over the thought of not being invited to a close family member's wedding.

My owner Zee recently thought that everyone was invited to his cousin's wedding apart from him.  Zee enjoyed a close relationship with his cousin, particularly as they were the same age and had grown up together, so the thought of not being invited left him particularly disappointed.

Zee was checking the post every day, and when no invite arrived, he went into emotional overdrive, feeling anxious and angry.  He felt that his cousin had overlooked him or didn't like him, and became angry because he had decided that he did not accept him as a person. 

These kind of thoughts, where you beat yourself up over the situation is a negative, self-defeating behaviour and is often irrational, as it was in this case where the invite had been lost in the post.  This kind of behaviour is used in many different situations for many people on a day to day basis, which adds a lot of stress to the individual.

A lot depends on the way you think.  A negative way of thinking causes you to feel miserable and behave in a really unhelpful way.  Relentless self-criticism, and a tendency to make mountains out of molehills would make anyone feel depressed.

The use of cognitive behaviour therapy works by reducing distress by changing unhelpful beliefs and providing new ways to make sense of life, and teaches people to change unhelpful behaviours.

The Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Partnership is based in Hertford and specialise in teaching how mindfulness training can help an individual deal with irrational thoughts.  The CBT Partnership runs monthly lectures, group therapies and one on one sessions.  Give Lynne or Henck van Bilsen a call to discuss if you can benefit from mindfulness training on 01992 552022 or visit the CBT feature on The Best Of Hertford or The Best Of Ware.

About the Author

Victoria H

Member since: 10th July 2012

Hi there, my name's Victoria and as owner of thebestof Hertford and Ware it's my job to find and promote the best information, events and businesses that Hertford and Ware have to offer!

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