Coping with the realisation of divorce or separation
26th January 2016
... Comments

The realisation of divorce or separation can be intimidating. When a relationship breaks down there are so many different things to consider, it is hard to know the best place to start.  In my experience advising, it can be helpful to digest the concept of divorce in bite size chunks. Below are a few thoughts about where you may wish to start:

1. Accept support from friends, family and professionals. All play important, although different roles, throughout the process. The main person who you previously approached for support in difficult times is no longer available, so try to accept other options. It can be tricky when your friends and family have been involved with you and your partner in the past, so professional support from solicitors to family therapists may also be of benefit.

2. Try not to be taken in too much by other people’s divorce or separation stories; everyone is different.  Approaches to separation are flexible, intentionally so, to meet the needs of individual families. What Joe Bloggs had to pay to his wife, is not necessarily a likely outcome for John Smith – even in similar circumstances.

3. Divorce or Separation is a process. It is normal to have feelings of anger, upset, denial, depression, second thoughts and then finally acceptance. Both partners are not likely to be in the same emotional state as the other. That makes matters more difficult, particularly when one partner has been considering the issue of separation longer than the other.

4. Wherever possible, remain amicable.  Easy to say, harder to achieve.  Remaining amicable reduces the need for third party intervention and avoids spiralling costs.  Furthermore, a negotiated settlement, will be reached more quickly (rather than via a court timetable) and is more likely to be adhered to as both parties are likely to have compromised to achieve an acceptable outcome.

5. Empower yourself with knowledge, it will allow you to feel in control.

6.Be considerate of costs, there are often moral arguments you want to raise, but find out whether they will have any financial/legal merit. If not, it is a life lesson, better to accept and move on, rather than waste money arguing over the same. Choose your battles.

7. Try not to dwell on the past, focus on your future. It may not look the same as it has done previously, but new beginnings can be very bright once you are ready to accept the same.

8. Use freely available resources.  There is an excellent Government website that is user friendly which highlights some of the important considerations on divorce. www.gov.uk/divorce  The Citizen’s Advice Bureau is often a good starting point for financial help and emotional support.

9. Seek professional help early on to ensure you know what considerations you may need to give rise to. Knowledge is empowering and avoids you fearing the worst – every situation can be resolved in one way or another.

10. Keep smiling and stay positive.  Sometimes it is the last thing you want to do – but even trying, can make you feel much better.


If you need extra advice, help or just someone professional and experienced to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact TWM Solicitors. They are a reputable solicitors firm in Wimbledon and have bags of experience and knowledge on the subject.

More
About the Author

Andrew M

Member since: 10th July 2012

The Best of Wimbledon and Merton helps to bring all the best local information to all local residents and businesses throughout Wimbledon and Merton. We also bring trusted businesses and the community...

Popular Categories