In the spring I returned to France with my girlfriend and a set of drawings for my new project, courtesy of my architect friend. He had drafted them for me as he was so pleased with his new home we had made for him, especially having been living in a mobile home on a gusty hillside for the previous five years, hoping for planning permission.

Here I was sitting on the highest most corner of my land in France outside the caravan. I remember a lovely sunny Sunday afternoon, Rene, on one of his visits was looking at the new plan of the house with the original building standing in the distance in front of us. He looked at the drawing for a few minutes and then exclaimed in an uncharacteristic way “It is a crap!” I was so taken aback I did not know what to think. I just started to laugh. Did this dignified man in his suit and tie just say what I though he had said? He repeated it again. I laughed again, but this time even louder and it was made worse as I could hear my girlfriend in the caravan trying to stop the giggles. I then realised he had stopped looking at the plan on the table. And was staring at the ground nearby. It soon became clear he was not referring to the plans but a small toad which had appeared from under the caravan. It must have taken up residence there and been disturbed from its nice shaded home by the noise. Rene asked me why I found a toad so hilarious, so I covered my embarrassment with a really lame nonsensical excuse which I now cannot for the life of me remember. But I do remember my girlfriend ridiculing me for ages afterwards because the excuse was so poor.

Fortunately Rene did not think the drawings were the French word for toad and he showed real enthusiasm for my little maison. He thought the only problem was that the writing would have to be converted into French.

He went off happy with the drawings under his arm and I was content in the knowledge that Rene was dealing with my planning application. (Incidentally the real word for toad in French is crapaud pronounced crapo, but the French abbreviate it to crap!)

Find out more next time............ Paul