Violent children or just parents needing some support?
27th July 2015
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TV programmes such as ‘My Violent Child’, and ‘Born Naughty’ appear to show violent out of control children with voice-overs suggesting that parents around the country are cowering in corners afraid of these monster children.However, if you watch carefully the conclusion to almost every one of these programmes is that parents simply need some support to get family relationships and the child’s behaviour back on track.  In some instances a diagnosis of ASD or ADHD is made but the result is the same – parents needing a bit of support around the best way to manage their child’s behaviour.  Sadly there are no dramatic voiceovers at the end of these programmes proclaiming the benefits of parent support but then that doesn’t sound very shocking does it?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about blaming parents, or children for that matter, just being realistic about the many pressures that parents today face.  Surely helping them to see that there are parenting courses out there for everyone to access seems to me to be a better solution than labelling children as violent.

The sorts of pressures I’m talking about include:-

  • The rise of the media – children are exposed to vast amounts of advertising & images about what they should look like, what they should play with, what phone they should have etc almost from birth. 
  • An increasing number of parents are parenting alone, sometimes in conflict with a former partner.  Meeting a new partner brings yet more challenges to deal with, ‘blended families’ can be hard to manage.
  • Schools are placing increasing pressure on children to achieve in SATS tests, GCSEs etc
  • Peer pressure is fiercer than ever – ‘everyone else has got ….’ & thanks to smart phones etc it’s constant, 24/7
  • Families are less likely to live around the corner from each other – instant help from Mum, Nan, Auntie is getting less common & so parents can become isolated
  • The rise of the internet & social media – the gap between what children are exposed to and what their parents understand is growing – keeping pace with technology can be a full time job.  Not to mention how it feels to see that everyone else on Facebook clearly has a perfect family life
  • Financial pressures – the recession has left many families struggling to stand still but still feeling the pressure to provide holidays, big Christmas presents etc

No wonder parents need some help!

Parenting courses are a safe space to take a look at how we are parenting our children, learn about what parenting experts have found over years of study, find out how to strengthen the relationships we have with our children, share our highs and lows with other parents, consider whether we want to make any changes to the way we are parenting & if so receive some guidance on how to do that.

My own view is that all parents should have the opportunity to attend a range of parenting courses as their children grow – we’re all happy to take advice from midwives and health visitors when we first have children and why wouldn’t we? – we’ve never done it before.  But guess what, when we get to ‘terrible twos’ we’ve never dealt with that before either, not to mention dealing with teenagers!

The parenting courses that we offer at Our Place are constantly evolving to meet the needs of the parents that we see.  The courses are chatty and informal with lots of opportunity (but no pressure) to share your own concerns and successes and there are always biscuits – what else do you need to know?!

Our next course will be held on Mondays 9.30am-11.30am on 5th, 12th 19th Oct, 2nd, 9th and 16th Nov at Duke Street Church, Duke Street, Sutton Coldfield, B72 1RJ. Places are only £2 per weeks for parents that attend an Our Place School. Parents and Carers from other schools are welcome to attend at £5 per week. For a full list of Our Place Schools visit the website

If the biscuits haven’t sold it to you there is more information available from Our Place  - 0121 354 4080

About the Author


Member since: 11th May 2012

As Managing Director at Our Place I began this wonderful journey in 2011, when along with a small team of committee members we founded the facility Our Place Community Hub. Our aim is to provide a shared...

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