Dawn French, the Queen of British comedy, has announced her first ever solo tour.

The award-winning actor, best-selling novelist and all round very funny lady has written a new show, based on her life and career, called 30 Million Minutes. The UK tour starts in Plymouth on Sunday 1st June and comes to The Churchill Theatre, Bromley on Monday 8 September 2014 with further dates here to be announced very soon.

30 Million Minutes will consist of various delights and riches, with the odd irksome tribulation thrown in, as Dawn takes audiences through the various lessons life has taught her, and the things she knows for sure.

Book for this show NOW, because Dawn French is convinced it won't be long before she is far too ‘doolally’ to perform it.

The evidence is there for all to see. She is already three quarters certifiably daft. The other quarter is utterly bewildered. And the remaining quarter simply can't do maths. With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French of Cornwall shares how she has misguidedly spent her whole life vigorously attempting to be a fully functioning female human. 

Her extraordinary lack of willpower, combined with an enviable knack for nosey parking and showing off, has driven her to grapple with the big stuff of life in public. 30 million minutes of life in fact. That's how long she's been alive.

It's also worth coming if only to finally witness what size she actually is. Can we believe the stolen images of so many women's magazines? What is the truth? Is she so unfeasibly large that she can hardly live? Or does she sleep in a matchbox? Marvel at how one woman can mercilessly murder so much chocolate, and yet remain so curiously slim…

As a big fat liar once said of her: "Her singular attempt to be ordinary fails miserably."

Catch the show. Or feel like a fool. 

30 Million Minutes is produced by Phil McIntyre Entertainments and Michael Grandage

Company. The show is directed by Michael Grandage. Set and Costume Design by Lez

Brotherston. Lighting Design by Willie Williams.

Click here for more or to book tickets.