Best jokes from Edinburgh 2011 thanks to Dave TV
25th August 2011
... Comments

The winning joke is:
"I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

Of his win, Nick Helm said: "I knew my joke was the funniest joke of all the other jokes in 2011. Thank you to Dave and all the people that voted for proving me right."

You can hear an exclusive interview with Nick Helm in The Dave Weekly podcast where he reveals the unlikely source of the gag.
Dave’s Top 10 funniest jokes from the Fringe Festival 2011
1. Nick Helm: "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves." 

2. Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."

3. Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."

4. Tim Key: "Drive Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car..."

5. Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let's make this interesting". So we stopped playing chess."

6. Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."

7. Alan Sharp: "I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."

8. Mark Watson: "Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife."

9. Andrew Lawrence: "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can’t even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails."

10. DeAnne Smith: "My friend died doing what he loved... Heroin."
And the worst joke of the fringe comes from Paul Daniels:
"I said to a fella ‘is there a B&Q in Henley’ He said “No, there’s an H, an E, an N an L and a Y…"

The joke, taken from Paul Daniel’s Edinburgh show, Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow, marks a return to Edinburgh for the 73 year old, who first performed at the Fringe Festival in 2003.
Some of the worst jokes told at this year's Fringe include:
Tim Vine: "Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy."

Vladimir McTavish: "The Lockerbie bomber put Lockerbie on the map, well he nearly took it off it too."

Josh Howie: "I've got nothing against the Chinese. Don't get me Wong."

Card Ninja: "I went to see this show and the guy said ‘Hey kid do you like magic?’ And I said ‘Yeah!’ So he asked if I wanted to see a trick and I said ‘Yeah!’ So he said ‘think of a number, times it by 2 and if it’s odd...’ Oh no, he's a MATHmagician!"

Tom Webb: "Due to the economy, profiteroles will now be called deficiteroles."

Nathan Caton: "Postcode wars? That sounds like a really shit BBC game show."

Andrew Bird: "My wife’s eating for two. She’s not pregnant, just schizophrenic."

Mark Olver: "During my first murder I was like a dyslexic having my back teeth removed... losing my morals."

Andrew O’Neill: "A song for the colour blind: “And I think to myself...why did I become a bomb disposal expert?"

More
Popular Categories