Every year I started on various New Year Resolutions, promising to be a better person, work harder, be more focused, love and cherish life. At some point I dumped all, returning to square 1: a semi-depressed mother with obscure mind and lacking serenity. Even loving my child and adoring my partner, there’s a gap to be filled in my brain/heart/soul. I tried many things, but never finding peace. Once again, I’m making a bid to find peace through tantra allowing a year to see change. Why tantra? After studying/ practicing various philosophies (shaping the current “I”, failing to bring change), I returned to a special person who offered his help years ago. Then, I rejected his offer and 8 years on I found him again: “When the student is ready the master appears” suits my case well. Having an interest in Eastern philosophies, through late teenagehood, I was obsessed with Osho’s teachings, whose spiritual path combined elements of Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Christianity and other religious/philosophic traditions, humanistic psychology, meditation; then embracing Islamic philosophy and practice. Searching again, I met Mal (London’s pioneer tantric therapist) in 2003. We talked about my interest in Eastern philosophies, constant search for elusive love and satisfaction. He suggested I explore tantra. Though open -minded and excited, after the first session I felt overwhelmed and unable to cope with the tsunami of emotions - instead of returning to Mal, I suppressed my emotions for years. I decided to seek Mal's advice 8 years later. This time, clear about my questions/needs, I was ready for the long journey to reach my goal (in fact my ultimate) to achieve serenity and love. I was offered a tantric journey that promises to bring the healing - I am up for it. I’ll be seeing my master 3 times a month, about 40 times a year. I will be posting my reflections of every single training session and perhaps additional postings of my own mini researches on tantric life.