We all have a mother and a father and, of course, most of us remember them especially on their special days. But now it could be time to go beyond cards and flowers.
We all owe a deep debt of gratitude to our parents for first creating us, then for giving us roots in a secure environment to progress from infancy to adolescence. The best parents of all then gave us wings so that we could explore the world and soar to the heights of our own vast potential.
According to Sue Atkins of Positive Parents-Confident Kids, this is an ideal situation and, alas, one that a great many people feel they have lost out on.
Sue is a Parent Coach and tells us that many of our attitudes to work, relationships and life in general are coloured by how close our childhood came to this ideal. She points out that any couple can become parents without any training, lessons or experience. So it is not surprising that many fall short of the perfection that we might have felt was our due.
Sue Atkins again. “The key to overcoming any resentment or regret is forgiveness. After all, what has been done cannot be undone and you are what you are. You are also what you think, so Mothers’ day is a great time to eliminate any negative thinking about your parents.”
She continues, “They did the very best that they could with the knowledge that was available to them at the time. Like you, they only discovered what they didn’t know when they needed to know it, so it is hardly surprising that they may have made a few mistakes along the way.”
Sue excludes parents who wilfully mistreat their children from this general observation. These individuals will require a greater effort for forgiveness but it is an effort well worth making.
Some of her coaching clients are held back in achieving the great things in life because there is simply no room to let them in. She explains it like this, “If you harbour a grudge or resentment it will fester and impact on everything else that you do and that is like trying to cycle uphill with the brakes on. The way to release the brakes is to just let go.”
If it becomes apparent that a client is being held back by some imagined past injustice I ask them three simple questions. "Could you let that feeling go? Would you let it go? When?” Their answers invariably lead to the client becoming aware of the way forward and going for it. This process also has a positive impact for clients who are parents themselves. In understanding their own parents, they find a greater understanding of their children.
Sue Atkins is always happy to discuss this or other aspects of her approach to Parent Coaching, absolutely free of any cost or obligation. She can be contacted during usual office hours on 01342 833355 or sue@positive-parents.com.
We give Sue the last word. “In the final analysis we all have a choice. We can carry negativity and bitterness with us to the grave or we can decide, right now, to let it go and replace it with happiness and love. Share that love with your parents before it is too late.”
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