Despite the fact that we are living through the Information Revolution, and there is a wealth of information and business "Gurus" attempting to sell it, I remain surprised at the lack of understanding I find in people whose businesses would greatly profit from understanding and following the general rules of successful interaction.
People are still not getting the message that the Information Revolution is making profound changes to the way people buy and sell. For small businesses in particular, Having a great product and the means to market it is no longer going to be enough to ensure success. A new quality is required of the modern business person - your customer and all your contacts must like you!
Those who I've encountered as the most successful in small business are the ones who've grasped this concept the best. They have many contacts all of whom like them! They understand that rudeness is the absolute business-killer. Those contacts who have been rude to me have to my surprise all come from the same business-sector: coaching and networking, the very sector that should understand better than the rest the importance of not being rude to contacts.
When you upset a business contact, you are cutting yourself off from all THEIR contacts, and even worse that embittered contact will be actively DISSUADING others from using you! The contact is of at least equal importance as the customer because of their potential to generate business. It is therefore crucial that you understand the basic principles of interacting with contacts.
These boil down to FIVE GOLDEN RULES:
1. NEVER COMMUNICATE WITH A CONTACT WHEN EMOTIONAL - I cannot overstate the importance of a calm mind when communicating. Emotions have the ability to override logic and clear thinking with ease, and it's very easy to communicate something you'll later regret. If feeling emotional, the best action is to delay that interaction. No amount of logic, reason and self-control can restrain an inflamed passion, and it's a big mistake to think you can. Always "sort yourself out" before making any communication.
2. WHEN INTERACTING, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE OTHER PERSON - When talking with someone, it will be blatantly obvious if your mind is elsewhere. Body language, tone of voice and choice of words make it quite clear if the other person genuinely has your attention or not. Giving full attention to the other is an absolute must to make a good impression. If you are giving the message that you are not interested in them, they will as soon as possible find someone else who is.
3. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'VE GOT, IT'S WHAT THEY WANT - The fundamental business skill of thoroughly understanding what the customer wants long pre-dates the Information Revolution, but still on every business forum you find the over-enthusiastic going on for too long and in too much detail about what they've got. It's vital to listen to the customer and ask them the right questions to find out exactly what it is they want, and having understood this thoroughly, delivering the customer those requirements, and not only what they want but in the way they want it. This calls for open-mindedness and flexibility. In any struggle for survival, the most adaptable always triumph.
4. BITE YOUR TONGUE WHEN FACED WITH A STUPID COMMENT - When faced with someone who clearly doesn't know what they're talking about, giving in to the temptation to "put them straight" must be weighed against the consequences of doing so. Particularly when dealing with clients, customers and contacts, it is important to remember that the prime objective is not the upholding of truth as you may see it, but the wellbeing of your business.
Making a stand against "ignorance" may not be worth losing a contact and business opportunity. In particular, resist the temptation to retort equally aggressively to ignorant and rude comments made to your input to online forums. Even if you are "in the right", an online slanging-match looks bad and there is nothing to be gained by it. Simply let it go, or as a last resort or the contact is definitely superfluous, delete the other's comments and sever contact permanently, without further comment or explanation.
5. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, NEITHER WILL THEY - It's blatantly obvious - and rather embarrassing - when the person who's speaking to you is nervous and unsure. Some of us, particularly in my line of business, will respond sympathetically and try to put the other at ease, but unfortunately, others will instantly judge you as a "loser". Self-belief is a must in business as it is in sport if you are to succeed. If you don't believe in yourself, either pursue a different business where you ARE confident or get professional help to find self-belief within yourself. (Give me a call!)
...And how do I know this? From getting it wrong! All good wisdom is born of embarrassing, humiliating and painful failure coupled with the willingness to learn their lessons. I understand from painful first-hand experience the importance of these five golden rules, and I commend them to you!
